October 10, 2008

Je ne suis plus une femme.

Ha! I wonder if my French friends looked surprised by my title. Well I always knew that somehow I lost my identity when I became a mom. Yet I always tell others that I am Nancy and not just my daughter's or son's mother. Today I was watching tv and my son said "Look Mom! It's a woman!" I told him "Yes. Just like me." What does he say??? "No Mom. You're a Mom. You're a girl." Well at least I'm a girl right? Just need to clarify to him that I'm also a woman. It's so easy to get lost in motherhood but it's really important not to lose yourself. Don't get me wrong. I am happy in being a mother but it's not the only thing I am. I wasn't born a mom so the woman I was before kids still DOES exist they just don't know it. It's ok. They're small cute kids so I'll go easy on them. Have you ever felt lost in your identity as some point? Do you remember the first time? How do you deal with it or what do you do to insure that you are still the same person before motherhood?

Here's the photo of the little man (with his face stuffed with candy at my friend's house)that told me I wasn't a woman but a mom. Good thing he's cute or he would of been in big trouble!


A Bientot!


danielle said...

Oh, how I miss seeing pictures of him!! Don't worry Nancy, I can still see baby Christopher in him. <3

Love his vest!

Christian said...

I have thought about this identity question often and it totally perplexes me. I have never had this mommy identity crisis, my kids are still small though so maybe it is on the horizon? Or maybe I am just too shallow? I can't figure it out, what did you finally decide?

Domestic Goddess..Diva sometimes said...

The first time I experienced it was when I called my daughter's daycare. She was only a baby and after I told them who I was (still a new client to them) they said "Ohhh Samantha's mom!" After that, that's how in that daycare they call the parents. So and so mom/dad wants to know...is asking...etc.

That's when I notice I wasn't thought as Nancy but as someone's mom. Nothing wrong with that but after a few times of being called so and so mom, I was a bit ticked off since I have my own identity. The more I thought about it, the less annoyed I was. It was probably easier to connect my face with my children's name. One less name to remember I guess. Now I brush it off but that's when I notice I wasn't just "me" anymore since I chose to have children. :)


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